October 2024
A group of nearly 40 pastors’ wives gathered at St. Peter Lutheran Church in Schaumburg, Illinois on Saturday, October 5, 2024, for the annual Katie Event hosted by the LCMS Northern Illinois District.
The morning began with light breakfast and conversation. Throughout the day, there was time planned for ice breaker activities, keynote presentations, delicious make-your-own burrito bowls for lunch, a devotion and District update, and an ice cream social with additional opportunity for conversation and fellowship at the end of the day.
This year’s speaker for The Katie Event was Dr. Beverly Yahnke, Executive Director for Christian Counsel at DOXOLOGY. (Regular NIDnews.org readers may recall that she recently spoke at the 2024 All-Worker Conference held at Walcamp and hosted by Circuits 8 and 3.) Dr. Yahnke spoke on the same topics as at the All-Worker Conference (“Putting the Best Construction on Everything: God’s People Working Together,” “The Cost of Caring. A Quiet Epidemic,” and “Resilience: Healthy Strategies for Christians”), but this was a different audience, and she masterfully crafted the conversation to focus specifically on the needs and concerns of pastors’ wives.
During the session on “Putting the Best Construction on Everything,” Dr. Yahnke included suggestions for navigating differences of opinion and dealing with difficult people. (Spoiler alert! Sometimes WE are the difficult people!) Dr. Yahnke shared, “What you chose to think, what you choose to do, and what you choose to feel are some of the most important choices you will make.”
She encouraged attendees to reflect on the fact that each of us are unable to control the behavior of other people. The alternative, then, is choosing how to respond to difficult situations. In times of conflict and when seemingly at an impasse with others, we should examine ourselves and ask for forgiveness. In doing so, it can be helpful to do three things: reflect upon how I contributed to this; admit and confess; and make choices as to what to think, do, and say.
Other takeaways from Dr. Yahnke during this session included, “Always choose compassionate responses, empathy, and caring,” “Be kinder than necessary, 100% of the time,” and “See the other person, first and foremost, with compassion.”
The second keynote discussed compassion fatigue, burnout, and workaholism, which are all linked together. During this session, Dr. Yahnke talked about the “burden” of caring and how the individual who is helping can actually have brain chemistry changes (as evidenced through PET scans) and be as affected just by helping, as much as the person who is going through the trauma itself.
Her handouts included a depression scale with some details about how to figure out where you might fall on that spectrum, as well as a workaholism quiz. She also shared information on how to seek mental health services when needed.
A devotion and hymn (Let Us Ever Walk With Jesus, LSB 685) were led by LCMS Northern Illinois District President Rev. Dr. Allan R. Buss. He then gave a brief District update and took a few questions from the ladies in attendance.
The final keynote session was about resilience: one’s ability to adapt to stressors of all sorts, to be able to rebound after suffering. In other words, functioning in spite of what circumstances surround you or what difficult things you have experienced.
Dr. Yahnke discussed many common characteristics of resilient people, including: the ability to
consider change, embracing hope in response to all difficulties, having adequate problem-solving skills, and having reasonable expectations of others. She also included some questions for personal reflections about your own resilience.
The day ended with an ice cream social and additional time for conversation with old friends or with someone just met that day. There seemed to be much appreciation from the attendees for the opportunity to have such an event in the NID.
Jill Levenhagen from St. John Lutheran Church in Elgin, Illinois shared, “Dr. Yahnke is a gifted speaker. It’s so needed for pastors’ wives to have the opportunity to have community with others sharing their vocation and life stages.”
Similarly, Katrina Drinnon from St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Bourbonnais, Illinois stated, “After nearly six years of ministry with my husband, I finally had the opportunity to attend my first Katie Event this year. What a blessing it is to be able to spend time with fellow pastors’ wives! Life as a ministry family can be very busy, as many wives work to support our husbands and families, manage the household, and serve in our congregations. Making time to care for ourselves can be challenging, but The Katie gave us time to do just that. Dr. Yahnke’s conversations about compassion fatigue and resilience addressed important topics about ministry challenges that are often overlooked by congregations.”
Special thanks for the Northern Illinois District for sponsoring such an event and to The Katie Event planning committee for their time and efforts!
WELLNESS: Promoting and encouraging health and vitality in congregations, schools, ministries, professional workers, and lay-leaders.